22 Mar You Don’t Have Haters, You’re an Asshole
You don’t have haters. You’re an asshole.
“Haters” is a term that just won’t seem to die. It ranks right up there with “bae” and “fleek” for me. What the hell is it even supposed to mean? You’ve got people that don’t like you? You seem to think they don’t like you for what you’re trying to do, but do they really just not like you for you?
Think about the groups that get hated the most. Vegans, crossfitters, politicians of all parties, etc. Why are people constantly making fun of them? They’re assholes. Well, most of them. Like any group, there are exceptions. I know quite a few vegans I’d have a beer with. I know even more crossfitters I’d happily talk training with. I know considerably less politicians, but the few I do know, there are some that are really trying to make things better.
In my fitness circle, the term “haters” pops up from individuals that think they’re out to change the world. Are they wrong in their desire or even knowledge? No, not always. It’s their delivery that sucks. When all the people that you meet are assholes, guess what the common denominator is?
There are extremely successful lifters that don’t have haters. There are other successful lifters that are always complaining about proving the haters wrong. Both sets of lifters are extremely talented and strong, so what’s the difference?
Same for fitness professionals. A quick glance will through social media and you’ll find tons of memes about ignoring the haters, “be you,” or ignore the negativity bullshit. I’ve been training in some form or fashion for over 20 years. Prior to social media, we didn’t have haters. Or at least I didn’t. Why? Because I kept my mouth shut about what I was doing. It was for me. Same as all this really is. Who else is really benefitting from all this time I spend in the gym, time spent prepping meals, time spent doing my hair? No one but me. I’m not so narcissistic to think that I’m a huge motivating factor that’s going to miraculously change someone’s life. How I talk to them, or tips I give them could be beneficial in helping them make better decisions, but just posting some stupid bullshit on social media ain’t giving anybody anything but the impression that I’m an ego-driven asshole. What I do post, are things I’m proud of. I share because I think it’s cool. Not everybody has to agree with me and that’s okay.
So what’s the deal? Where do haters come from? Really, they’re imaginary. Haters are critics. Your perception of what they’re trying to say is what makes them haters, and you’re lack of confidence gives them a platform. I’ve been wrong often in life (my wife can tell you that), but what I will do is own it. Were the folks that pointed that out to me haters? Hell no. Some were my friends. Some were random strangers. None were haters. Even in arguments where I wasn’t wrong, were the folks that disagreed with me haters? No. A simple disagreement doesn’t mean we have to hate each other. That’s just childish. Plenty of my friends and I don’t agree on certain issues, but we’re still friends. Open your eyes, ears and mind. Really listen to what people are telling you. Having haters doesn’t mean you’re successful or doing something great. It could simply be that you’re an asshole that has the wrong approach.
Now, there always will be negativity. There’s just some poor souls that simply have nothing but hate in their heart. They’re going to spew their hate at any and everybody. That doesn’t make them your haters. It makes them assholes.
Again, it’s all about the perception of where the hate comes from. Have you earned it by being an asshole to multiple people over the years? Or have you just got enough attention to have some folks pissed off and jealous? A confident individual will know that “haters” are only a figment of their imagination.
Low Country Strength
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