20 Apr Inane Ramblings of a Meathead: Mediocre and Bitter
By Zane Geeting
I don’t know how many MMA fans we have here at PowerRackStrength.com, but last week there was an incident that made something I already knew a little clearer for me; there are some non-competitive, bitter motherfuckers out there, who have no idea what competition is about. When Daniel Cormier stepped on the scale for the second time and pushed down on the towel, the first thing that crossed my mind was, PURE GENIUS. That thought was immediately followed by the question of what kind of jerk Rumble Johnson had for a manger, but that’s not my problem. The aftermath of this situation is what really cleared things up and helped me come to my realization. The majority of the press, fans, and even some other fighters were crying about, “cheating”…what? You’re kidding me, this is sports at their highest level, what planet do these people live on?
[wa-wps]
As my wife and I discussed this, we delved into “cheating” across all sports (because let’s face it, it’s only cheating if you get caught) everything from sanding balls, deflating them, corking bats, changing restrictor plates, pushing off on jumpers, poking people’s eyes, oiling yourself up, cutting your jersey, stuffing knee wraps in your bench shirt or a t-shirt in the backside of your singlet, etc. The saying is as old as sports themselves, “If you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’.” That is as simple and plain as you can put it. This is competition; you get any edge you can if you want to win. If your morals prevent that from happening, so be it, but you don’t win some kind of award for it. My wife made the most profound observation of this whole conversation, as it pertained to our sport of powerlifting; “What you’re dealing with is a bunch of people who suck, and try to validate their failures by blaming the success of others on cheating.” That is spot on. Don’t kid yourself for one second, life isn’t fair, nothing about it, and sports are no different. You don’t have the genetics of Michael Jordan, Phil Heath, or Ed Coan, that’s the way it is, so you get any edge you can get away with. Hell, they all had the biggest advantage that anyone can have (genetics) and they all bent/broke the rules. Jordan pushed off on jumpers when it came time to get that win, Phil Heath waits until the very last second to hit that pose when everyone else is losing theirs. Ed was known to cut a squat here and there, and even brag about getting away with it.
Anyone who thinks that their favorite athlete hasn’t bent the rules… hasn’t acted like they were fouled when they knew they weren’t, or acted like they didn’t touch that ball before it went out of bounds, when they knew they did, is a simpleton. If you think your favorite football player hasn’t intentionally put his helmet on someone, or thrown some extra jabs after the whistle, you’re a dunce. I can go on and on, across all of sports and give you examples, and if you think powerlifting is any different, may God have mercy on your soul (and total). You cut that squat when you can get away with it. You know your butt came off the bench and the judges didn’t see it, good on you, keep your mouth shut and keep on keepin’ on. There is no award for lifting less than the other guy on principle, only for lifting the most weight and winning. If you don’t like it, this sport isn’t for you and you’re never going to be anything. I assure you, all the guys you look up to have done something shady to win, 100%, and if they haven’t yet, they will. Maybe they haven’t flat out broken the rules, but they’ve bent them right to the breaking point, you can bet your life on it.
What’s especially funny about these naïve little boys and girls is that they show a complete lack of knowledge of the sport they’ve chosen to compete in. It’s powerlifting, they bring guys out of prison to compete with you, half the guys at the meet don’t have a real job, and they sell drugs for a living. I know top lifters in this sport who pimp Uncle Sam for disability and bounce at dirty dive hole bars for cash. I know killers, criminals, drug addicts, you name it. You came here trying to talk about some moral high ground? Please, there’s the door, don’t let it hit you in the ass on the way out. I’m not saying there aren’t some decent people with real careers, even wealthy people in the sport, but let’s face it, at the end of the day, it’s a bunch of people throwing caution to the wind and doing whatever the hell they have to do to lift the most weight they possibly can. Get in where you fit in, but trust me; so long as you associate yourself with that crowd, you have no room to throw stones, you’re in it, playboy.
I’m sure some of you are like, “Yeah, but what’s that have to do with flat out cheating?” Or maybe you’re even more of a moron and you’re crying about multi-ply gear, or some other nonsense that doesn’t affect anything but your tiny little fragile ego. Well, I can’t help your stupidity and/or lack of confidence, see a psychiatrist, or grow a pair, either way. What I can tell you though, is that as long as this sport has been around guys have been looking for any edge they could get. People put tennis balls behind their knee wraps, wore the tightest jean shorts they could get into under their singlet, wrapped their body in bed sheets like a suit, and the list goes on. They cut squats, posse bench, and try to act like they have that dead locked out, when they know damn sure they don’t. That’s sport, that’s what you do when you want to win. It always has been and it always will be. Those mediocre clowns that try to disparage people for doing these things, do it in an effort to justify their own mediocrity. You’re never going to beat these guys, plain and simple, even if you’re the one cheating and they’re giving you some kind of handicap, you suck, deal with it. I became comfortable with my spot in the sport a long time ago; I still enjoy it and try to beat those that I can despite the setbacks that have come my way. I suggest you all do the same; you’ll be much happier, and much less annoying to those of us who actually understand sports and competition.
At the end of the day there is only one list that truly matters to top lifters, and it’s the all-time historical list compiled by Michael Soong. You want to cement your legacy as a great lifter, you get on that list. No amount of crying, bitching, pissing and moaning will get you on there. All that will get you is a few geeks with social media accounts and a total smaller than most real lifters’ squats, to blow you kisses for a minute. You can be the king of the chodes, who graduated from World of Warcraft to powerlifting last year and are now seeking the perfect squat shoe. That list means you’re someone, not the 5,000 twinks that follow you on IG. They even keep the list raw and equipped now, so you have no excuses aside from your bitter mediocrity.
One other thing I’d like to mention about “cheating,” that I touched on in the beginning of this article, is that your manager, or in our case, your handlers are ultimately responsible for your day outside of what you can control (your lifting). If someone shoved something in their shirt, put oil on the deadlift bar, or has something shoved in their singlet to beat you, that’s on them to catch that. Yeah, you can leave it up to the judges, but I know how much you kids like to cry about them making the wrong calls on squat depth, so I doubt you really want to leave that in their hands. Get your team out there; make them make sure that no one is cheating you out of the win. Like I said, it’s only cheating if you get caught, so catch ‘em.
So there it is, deal with it, or don’t… makes no difference to me. But what do I know; I’m just a meathead rambling about a bunch of nonsense.
Zane Geeting
Latest posts by Zane Geeting (see all)
- Zane Geeting, Training Update 1/15/2019 - January 15, 2019
- Zane Geeting, Off Season Training Update - January 7, 2019
- Zane Geeting, Last 3 Off Season Training Sessions - November 6, 2018
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.