14 Nov Strength, Ego, Faith, and the Lessons Learned on the Mat: Daniel Holmes Part 3
Article Rundown
- Technical skill, positioning, and patience matter more than relying exclusively on strength.
- Real confidence requires controlling your ego and accepting opportunities to learn.
- Faith, accountability, and supportive relationships can strengthen personal leadership.
- Coaching should develop character and responsibility, not simply produce competitive success.
Strength, Ego, Faith, and the Lessons Learned on the Mat
There is a big difference between being strong enough to overpower somebody and actually knowing how to fight. I have spent most of my life developing strength, but getting involved in Brazilian jiu-jitsu has forced me to approach physical competition differently.
In Part 3 of my conversation with Daniel Holmes, we discuss wrestling, grappling, the importance of controlling your ego, and how those lessons extend into faith, leadership, and personal responsibility.
Why Strength Alone Isn’t Enough in Jiu-Jitsu
Daniel has been developing a wrestling-based jiu-jitsu curriculum that combines traditional takedowns with positional control. His approach starts with fundamentals, including double-leg takedowns, guard passing, side control, and eventually submissions. What interests me is how much strategy matters. A powerful athlete can still struggle against someone who understands leverage, positioning, and timing.
When Daniel and I first started grappling, I relied heavily on my strength. Now, I deliberately avoid overpowering my training partners whenever possible. Instead, I focus on escaping bad positions, controlling my movements, and understanding what my opponent is trying to accomplish.
Daniel also explained why inexperienced white belts can present unexpected challenges. Their movements are unpredictable, and their tendency to panic can create dangerous situations. Experience helps, but nobody should underestimate the importance of staying controlled.
Getting Better Sometimes Means Getting Worse First
One observation I shared with Daniel involves the transition from white belt to blue belt. As beginners develop an understanding of submissions and positional disadvantages, they sometimes become hesitant.
I have experienced something similar while learning to grapple without depending on strength. Techniques that initially feel uncomfortable can leave me vulnerable, but avoiding those positions would prevent me from improving.
Daniel emphasized that progression requires experimentation. You cannot become a complete grappler if you refuse to work from positions where you struggle. That mentality applies to practically every sport. Sometimes you must sacrifice short-term success to develop skills that will serve you over the long term.
Competition, Strategy, and the Greatest Fighters
Our conversation eventually moved into professional grappling and mixed martial arts. We discussed Gordon Ryan, Rousimar Palhares, and the ability of elite competitors to survive difficult positions against exceptionally skilled opponents.
We also talked about Real American Freestyle wrestling and Colby Covington’s impressive wrestling abilities. Watching elite wrestlers control opponents through pressure, positioning, and relentless movement reinforces how different competitive disciplines reward different strengths. That brought us to Jon Jones, Daniel Cormier, and the importance of adapting your approach to an opponent.
Jones has demonstrated an extraordinary ability to identify weaknesses and change his strategy accordingly. His fights with Cormier illustrate how preparation, timing, and calculated adjustments can overcome tremendous opposition.
The Difference Between Confidence and Ego
Daniel and I also discussed the personalities of legendary athletes, including Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and Shaquille O’Neal. Great competitors often possess tremendous confidence. However, there is a difference between believing in your abilities and allowing your ego to interfere with your judgment.
Jordan demanded excellence from his teammates and backed those expectations with his own performance. Meanwhile, the relationship between Bryant and O’Neal demonstrated how competing personalities can complicate even an incredibly successful partnership.
My takeaway is that confidence must be accompanied by accountability. Being exceptional at something does not excuse every behavior, and winning should never eliminate the need for personal growth.
Building Stronger Men Through Faith and Grappling
One of the most meaningful parts of our conversation centered on the men’s group Daniel and I have been developing in Jacksonville. We meet Wednesday mornings at 5:30 to discuss Scripture, fellowship, and practice practical grappling skills. It is not an environment where newcomers are expected to prove themselves against experienced fighters. We want men to become more knowledgeable about their faith while developing confidence and the ability to protect themselves and their families.Â
Ephesians 6:12 describes a struggle that is not against flesh and blood. As someone who understands how exhausting wrestling can be, I appreciate the significance of that language. Physical preparation matters, but spiritual preparation is equally important to me. Knowing how to defend yourself should produce confidence and restraint, not an excuse to intimidate others.
Learning to Lead Without Carrying Everyone’s Problems
Daniel shared how his Christian faith has influenced his personal life, relationships, and business decisions. He explained that surrendering his life to Christ did not eliminate his difficulties. In some ways, it introduced new responsibilities and challenges. We also discussed why men need opportunities to support one another without always feeling obligated to lead.
One lesson I have learned is that helping someone does not mean assuming responsibility for every problem they experience. I used to hear about someone’s difficulties and immediately wonder how I could fix them. Eventually, I realized that constantly taking ownership of other people’s problems was neither sustainable nor necessarily helpful.
Sometimes the better response is to ask what that person intends to do about the situation. You can offer guidance, encouragement, and assistance while still allowing someone to take responsibility for their decisions.
Accountability, Second Chances, and Personal Growth
That discussion led us into stories about mistakes, encounters with law enforcement, and learning from consequences. I shared several experiences where my own decisions could have resulted in considerably worse outcomes. Looking back, I recognize that being respectful, acknowledging mistakes, and accepting responsibility can make a tremendous difference.
Daniel also discussed his past difficulties and the opportunities he has received to rebuild his life through coaching, mentorship, and faith. His experiences reinforced something I strongly believe: your past does not have to determine your future, but meaningful change requires ownership of your actions.
Leaving a Legacy Beyond Championships
Toward the end of our conversation, Daniel explained how his priorities have evolved as a coach. Winning competitions still matters to him, but developing disciplined young people who understand responsibility, work ethic, and integrity has become increasingly important.
We also discussed growing our men’s group and my continued development in jiu-jitsu. Daniel wants me to challenge myself through competition rather than simply approaching grappling as another physical activity. I appreciate that perspective because learning something new requires humility, especially after spending decades becoming proficient in another sport.
Ultimately, strength is only one part of the equation. Character, discipline, faith, and the willingness to improve determine what we do with the abilities we have developed.
Contact Info and More!
For more on Daniel Holmes:
Owner of Black Hive Combat Academy
Website: BlackHiveCombatAcademy.com
Email: Daniel@vsusathletics.com
Instagram: GodIsMyJudge1315
For more on Brian Carroll:
Website: PowerRackStrength.com
Email: Brian@PowerRackStrength.com
Instagram: BrianCarroll1306
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